I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
