Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
