butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
