Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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