how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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