So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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