Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid