if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
