this boner is exhausting
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You were trust falling into bushes
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.