i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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