Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
