i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
