put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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