My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
