if i died would you start the facebook group?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
