My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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