and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
