Me. At least after what I've been through.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
