we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
