i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
