I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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