You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
