she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
