i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
