I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
