Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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