My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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