If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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