420 ftw
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
