well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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