I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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