Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
