Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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