we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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