somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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