You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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