I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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