dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
