Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
