now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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