I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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