It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
