Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
