I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The Olympian is in my bed
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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