i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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