So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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