Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
