did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
