i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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