Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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