dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
