Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
