Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
