Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize