____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
