As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
