I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
