I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
