i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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