before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
