Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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